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“The Apocalypse” Coming Soon To BBC Three

Monday, February 8th, 2010

For many years us humans have been fearing something that is simply called the Apocalypse. The end of the world. Everyone and everything all made dead at once. It sure will suck when that happens but there are times when I wish it would get a bloody move on when I’m watching the BBC’s sewer pipe known as BBC Three.

I’ll be honest, deep down I enjoy watching BBC Three but it’s usually to make myself feel a bit better about myself whilst taking in scenes of things that I don’t usually get to see. On other channels this would be endangered species or far off “only just discovered” lands. But on BBC Three this tends to be slappers wearing too much make up or pretentious people trying to forge themselves a career in show business but don’t fancy sucking off a TV executive and would rather resort to making an arse of themselves in front of literally thousands of people.

I was watching a show called “Hotter Than My Daughter”, it’s pretty much a show based around a mother and daughter who the Mum thinks that she is hotter than her daughter. Pretty simple. The twist of the show is that they get the public to vote on who they think should be made under (like their other great flagship show “Snog, Marry or Avoid”) to look less like a middle aged Jordan entering a drag queen contest.

On paper, a show like this sounds entertaining but when it gets down to it, it’s quite a scary prospect that people actually felt the need to apply and audition for a show where you more or less have to claim that your daughter is an ugly duckling or that you’re super hot and not at all over the hill, even though the public will inevitably tell you otherwise.

What is the most scary thing about this show is that there were people who didn’t make it onto the show. I didn’t know that people happily think that they are hotter than their daughter and are more than happy to tell them. A few years ago we laughed at mothers trying to be younger and more atractive than their daughters in a show called “Absolutely Fabulous but now it is OK to actually think and act like it.

There is part of me feels bad for making fun of these poor people but fuck them. They put themselves out there on TV in a light that could only be described as an orange coloured spotlight emanating from a lamp on top of a hill made from disgust and disappointment.

It could be worse though, they could be on ITV2

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Ep #16: Gordon Brown Watches X Factor

Saturday, November 7th, 2009
 
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In this brand new weekly episode I talk about celebrity news including how Miley Cyrus might kill someone’s cat and force them to eat it. As well as political news about how sex education is now going to be compulsory and the revelation that our Prime Minister Gordon Brown watches the X Factor.

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Ep#14: The Child Catcher Of Malawi

Monday, October 26th, 2009
 
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Topics covered in this episode include: how the recession continues on, postal strikes, Cheryl Cole, the X Factor and how Madonna could be collecting Malawi babies to drink their blood (for legal reasons I want to make sure you know that I don’t mean that, it’s a joke, she doesn’t do anything of the sort)

If you get impatient waiting for these episodes, you could always just read the blog. Or if you hate reading the blog, listen to the podcast. It’s up to you. You’re your own person. Peace out!