Radio Rabies

In this episode of Radio Rabies I talk about an interesting yet disgusting converation I overheard on the bus, me giving a death stare to a child, auto erotic asphyxiation, Band Aid’s money being used for non-charitable reasons as well as the BBC downsizing.

The show was originally webcast on the 5th March 2010 at 9pm.

It is sad when anybody dies but a death from someone in the public eye always captures the public’s interest. But when everyone finds out that the person died strangling themselves whilst masturbating it changes everyone’s perspective.

It’s not a glamorous way to die and speaks volumes about your private life and sadly it have been discovered that that is how the TV presenter of “To Buy Or Not To Buy” Kristian Digby is thought to have died in his flat recently.

The old “asphyxi wank” is a really bad idea, especially if you’re a celebrity. It’s a bad idea any time. There is no safe way of performing it short of having someone there with you which defeats the object of onanism if there is someone else there to give you a hand as it were.

First Michael Hutchence from the band INXS, then legendary movie actor David Carradine then possibly BBC daytime TV presenter Kristian Digby. Who’s going to be next? My money is on a ex-contestant from The Apprentice”

The BBC have recently had reports leaked out that they will be downsizing a lot of their content which includes the possible death to 6Music and the Asian Network as well as many features to it’s website and imported shows from America.

There has been quite an outcry from music fans at the possible extinction to the alternative music station 6 Music which as David Bowie described as a station that “keeps the spirit of broadcasters like John Peel alive”. There has been 80,000 or so signature added to a petition to keep the station alive but who knows what they’ll decide.

Maybe if they stopped paying the executives so much that claim so many expenses the BBC would be in a better shape.

I wouldn’t worry though it’s not as if they’re ever going to stop showing “Family Guy” any time soon, and if they did, it’ll soon be on E4 and as far as 6Music, there is a cacophony of internet radio stations that play lots of new music as well as website that help promote new people… just saying…

LOL. You know when something happens and you’re all like “that’s well rubbish” and then you find out that it shouldn’t happened in the first place and you’re all HA! Well that’s what happened when the BBC and U2 decided to suck each other off last year.

Basically the BBC decided to give U2 a hell of a lot of promotion at the time of their latest album release with radio interviews and these stupid little things flashing up on screen which said “U2=BBC”. It all amalgamated to U2 performing shit songs from their shitty repertoire on top of the legendary BBC television centre.

You see the reason why this is all so bad is because the BBC is paid for by us, the general public and it means that the BBC cannot advertise crap on their radio stations or television channels as well as having to be impartial to stuff. Well HAHAHA! You mucked up then didn’t you!

Luckily I don’t have to be impartial here and I can safely say the Bono and U2 are well shit!

The news is buzzing at the moment as one of the BBC’s highest earners has decided to not stay with the corporation.

Jonathan Ross has been with the BBC for years and has become one of their biggest assets. But in recent years he has caused them some trouble with that whole (yuk, hate calling it this) the Russell Brand / Andrew Sachs scandal.

I think it is probably wise for Jonathan Ross to call it a day with the beeb. Not being funny but they are too busy snorting cocaine and shitting themselves about offending people that they waste a talent like Jonathan Ross by dumbing down why he’s so funny.

The BBC’s loss is Channel 4 / ITVs gain. I hope it’s not ITV, they’re like well shit.

The expenses row. It’s always there to give us a cheap laugh at the ridiculous things that these high earning people don’t want to part with their cash for. The latest one is a guy called Mark Thompson who is the Director General of the BBC. He’s on a mind blowing £834,000 a year and he went through all the rigmarole and paperwork for a measly 70p (0.00008% of his yearly wage maths fans!). Seriously, get a grip!

I once saw this kid showing off to his friend by tossing a £2 coin into the air and catching it over and over. Then by a sudden twist of fate he dropped it onto the floor where it rolled down a drain. It was hilarious for me and the kid saw the funny side of it. I’m going to assume that the kid wasn’t on £834,000 and he was ok(-ish) about losing nearly 3 times the amount Mark Thompson once claimed for.

I was under the impression that people with high paid jobs were paid so much so they could afford shit like travel etc. I guess that isn’t the case! Why the Hell are they getting paid a stupid amount?

What an interesting couple of days it has been, luckily for me and my possible twice a week podcast! Lots of great information leaked to the public as well as the BBC causing more trouble with what their employees say. It serves them right for taking our license fees. They owe us, when they mess up, we want blood. Channel 5 wouldn’t treat us like this… Lets all just watch channel 5 from now on. It’ll be easier on our mental states.

Also I briefly talk about Amy Winehouse, Strictly Come Dancing, VERY briefly about the X Factor and of course the wonders of the Turner Prize! If you hate me for just covering stuff from my blog, I’m sorry, I’m still testing out the best form of attack for this site. If you hate me, let me know!

It appears that the BBC is going to be playing it safe from now on to try and win over the moronic viewers who complain about the Beebs output. It has been a very rocky road for the BBC this year what with Andrew Sachs answering machine and the phone-in scandals etc. Everyone has been up-in-arms in an explosion of buzzwords and solidarity of sheep proportions. So how are the BBC going to combat anything further happening? They’re going to move the watershed to 10pm. Well not officially but they going to stop using swearwords between 9pm and 10pm unless absolutely necessary, effectively moving it. They’re also going to be keeping an eye on things that are moving from BBC Three and BBC Two to BBC One to maintain that their audience, a bunch of slack jawed close to death Daily Mail readers (delete as appropriate) don’t get offended in their lovely houses in Tunbridge Wells.

That’s all well and good but then as the BBC puts out one fire, another one starts, this time with Strictly Come Dancing. Apparently the dancer Anton Du Beke called his partner Laila Rouass (off camera I’d like to hastily add) a “Paki” and a “Terrorist” after she had gotten a fake tan. Now out of context it seems like he was being malicious and a flaming racist. But as we have no evidence of him doing so we won’t know how it was said. Strangely though the BBC are actually standing by him which is strange for them. They’re always a bit too keen to make examples of it’s employees (all except the ones with the ludicrous expenses) One important thing to think about though is who actually went to the papers about this? Probably some snide little right winger. And it’s probably at this point that I will be thought of as a racist or whatever for not agreeing with the general consensus. This whole Anton Du Beke “scandal” is just another great way for political correctness to have another scapegoat. Well fuck political correctness. I hope it dies in some gutter somewhere.