Radio Rabies

In West Cape May, New Jersey there is an unsolved mystery. Some morning residents are finding little knitted jumpers on trees and lampposts.

The person behind it remains a mystery and uses the cover of darkness to remain a mystery. Unfortunately the person in question is being hunted by the police as what is being done is being done on public property. Imagine having a criminal record for knitting jumpers for trees.

It’s been reported that the Mayor and the majority of residents don’t mind it going on but there are always a few people who do. Apparently it messes up the “Victorian charm” of the town.

Lee Jin-gyu, 28 from South Korea has raised a few eyebrows recently because he has married a cushion. The cushion in question has a picture of his favourite anime character “Fate Testarossa”.

Allegedly he takes the cushion everywhere with him: to the park, to the fun fair on rides. He even takes it out for meals buying it food. He may sound like an oddball but he seems like a really good husband. I never treat my girlfriend to those kind of things.

Recently a guy in Japan married a character from the Nintendo DS game “Love Plus”, that’s just pixels. The cushion guy doesn’t seem so weird now does he? Least he can dry hump his cushion.

You know what it’s like when you’re trying to find a parking space. There’s always some dummy who sees it fit to take up the majority of two parking spaces. It’s a pain and 85 year old Richard Albers had had enough of it when 52 year old Vernon Brandt had blocked his favourite parking space at McDonald with his truck.

The two men have apparently argued over the space before or whatever but the old dude is all like “I’ve been parking here every morning for the last 16 years”… To be fair though, it doesn’t mean that he owns it does it?

Anyway, the old man Albers walks up to the Brandt’s truck and taps on the window to talk to the driver, but instead the truck driver opens his door knocking over the old man in the progress. I’m guessing the old guy is frail, he is 85 and has been eating McDonald’s every day for the last 16 years, his insides must be like an Egyptian tomb so it may have been a mistake. Well you could think that until Brandt offers old man Albers out for a fight…

You Americans, you like your big cars and your fast food!

I think it’s safe to say that people do a lot of things whilst they’re driving. The most common thing is talking on a mobile phone which in England has become illegal (only a bit mind) but there is a lady who recently caused a car crash in Florida because she was sorting out her bikini line whilst behind the wheel. She wasn’t completely reckless though, she did have her ex-husband in the passenger seat take the wheel when she was doing it…

She was in a massive rush because she was going to meet her boyfriend and she wanted to be all ready for him. On a side note, why was she taking her ex-husband? I guess that factor’s not important right now but still, bit odd.

They crashed into the back of a car which had slowed down to turn left and they sped off into the night as the woman had already been banned from driving and all that stuff the day before. The ex-husband was in the drivers seat when they were pulled over after they switched seats half a mile down the road but they came clean when being asked questions by the police.

Strangely though she was charged with leaving the scene of an accident as well as breaching her ban from driving and now she could possibly be facing jail.

I guess that means tending to your lady garden whilst driving isn’t illegal in Florida, just do it safely…

There have been claims that around 95% of the money raised by Live Aid and Band Aid was siphoned off and used to fund Ethiopian rebels to allegedly buy guns and shit.

At the moment these are just claims but how much would it suck if that was true? The mould breaking charity fundraising event will be tarnished and possibly all those millions of pounds didn’t go where they were intended.

Bob Geldof is rightfully annoyed and hopes that this won’t put people off by donating money to charity. Charity and fundraising has taken a lot of knocks recently what with Bono going around being a bellend and all. Hopefully these claims will be untrue and Bono will stop going around being a condescending cock.

Coincidently you can buy Live Aid on DVD. I don’t think that funds for this will go to the rebels so I wouldn’t worry. Buy the DVD and you can be just like Bono!

The BBC have recently had reports leaked out that they will be downsizing a lot of their content which includes the possible death to 6Music and the Asian Network as well as many features to it’s website and imported shows from America.

There has been quite an outcry from music fans at the possible extinction to the alternative music station 6 Music which as David Bowie described as a station that “keeps the spirit of broadcasters like John Peel alive”. There has been 80,000 or so signature added to a petition to keep the station alive but who knows what they’ll decide.

Maybe if they stopped paying the executives so much that claim so many expenses the BBC would be in a better shape.

I wouldn’t worry though it’s not as if they’re ever going to stop showing “Family Guy” any time soon, and if they did, it’ll soon be on E4 and as far as 6Music, there is a cacophony of internet radio stations that play lots of new music as well as website that help promote new people… just saying…

With a name like a killer whale you’d expect people to act on the side of caution but they don’t :(

On the news this morning I saw a report about a lady who has been killed by a whale whilst doing a show at Sea World in Florida. In the report it mentioned that the whale in question “Tillikum” is a killer whale and has killed a few people before.

I’m not down playing the tragic death of the trainer nor am I making fun of it in anyway but you have to question is it a good idea to play and splash around with an animal that is called a KILLER whale and has killed people before. It’ll be like getting Mrs Babykiller to babysit your children.

This tragic event will bring up a lot of questions about whether it is a good idea to have animals in captivity to then train them to do stuff for our entertainment. Some people think it’s cruel and against the instincts of the animals. Clearly in this instance, that is true. I think it’s best that I stop training my pet shark Clifford to do somersaults in my local swimming pool, I’m not sure but there’s something about him I don’t trust…

As if it wasn’t already bad enough for good old Gordon Brown. It turns out that not only could he be in trouble for being part of an illegal war but now he might be outted as a big old bully.

Well as of yet, nothing has been confirmed, but as it stands a spokeswoman from the “National Bullying Helpline” has claimed that a member of staff from 10 Downing Street has contacted them because someone there has been bullying them.

I’m not condoning bully in the slightest. But this does reek of a cooked up political scandal. Why would a confidential helpline release sketchy details like that? I wouldn’t be surprised if some scum sucking pig tories were behind this media shit storm. Who’s to say it wasn’t Gordon that rang up?

Thank the good Lord above that Moenygeddon is over!… and just when we’d sold all our possessions on eBay to Americans.

If you want to read about it some more, you can do so by clicking here. I don’t know what it says or properly what it means but we’re all going to be OK. We’re all going to be OK!

I’m mainly just happy about all the stupid dumb press coverage that will now stop. Yay!

For all those people who strive on bad crap, don’t worry, there are still pedos and yobs with ASBOs to worry about.

I’m probably going to get a lot of shit for this blog post but I really think it should be said.

There are a lot of musicians who are “rallying around” to try and help the people of Haiti after the recent earthquakes. Lots of people are donating money (which you can do so here) and other people are donating time to help fundraise even more money.

But I have been reading how Simon Cowell wants to record a song for Haiti as well as Jay-Z and U2. It will help raise a load of money but I think that maybe instead of doing something that will be a lot of press coverage for them on how good these people are, maybe they should just donate a few million pounds of their own money as well.

They’re going to record a song, they’re going to pat themselves on the back and the song will be used over various montages of slow motion clips from news coverage of the Earthquake.

How long will it be before Chris Martin is all over this too?