Radio Rabies

It is sad when anybody dies but a death from someone in the public eye always captures the public’s interest. But when everyone finds out that the person died strangling themselves whilst masturbating it changes everyone’s perspective.

It’s not a glamorous way to die and speaks volumes about your private life and sadly it have been discovered that that is how the TV presenter of “To Buy Or Not To Buy” Kristian Digby is thought to have died in his flat recently.

The old “asphyxi wank” is a really bad idea, especially if you’re a celebrity. It’s a bad idea any time. There is no safe way of performing it short of having someone there with you which defeats the object of onanism if there is someone else there to give you a hand as it were.

First Michael Hutchence from the band INXS, then legendary movie actor David Carradine then possibly BBC daytime TV presenter Kristian Digby. Who’s going to be next? My money is on a ex-contestant from The Apprentice”

Exclusive! Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole are to apparently going to divorce. How do I know this top secret information? A little birdie told me. I’ll tell you, but keep it under your hat.

Anyway, I heard that her husband Ashley Cole (a footballer) has cheated on her a few times and he always gets forgiveness by buying her rings and stuff. I guess there wasn’t a ring big enough to forgive him this time.

As I was saying, he’s cheated on her and now they’re going to divorce. In my opinion, it’s been a long time coming. She must have really loved him (and his money?) to have put up with his cheating ways for so long.

Let’s just hope the media won’t get wind of this other wise it’ll be everywhere and there will be so much publicity about it’ll be just like when Princess Diana died.

It’s that time of year again where award ceremonies are more widespread than a sexually transmitted disease, and for me just as enjoyable.

What better way to deal with an already egocentric community of people than to lay on a lavish night where they get to suck each other off for doing stuff that only few really passionately care about.

And then there is the spin of shit as well, the media frenzy that will follow what people were WEARING to the awards… “Oh look what such and such is wearing to the Oscars, she looks like a half cooked jacket potato”. This one night is going to be a shadow on the lung of many media outlets.

Roll on the Oscars, then we can all get back to what we were doing before. Stewing in our own juices because no one will give us any recognition for the stuff we do on a daily basis.

I’m probably going to get a lot of shit for this blog post but I really think it should be said.

There are a lot of musicians who are “rallying around” to try and help the people of Haiti after the recent earthquakes. Lots of people are donating money (which you can do so here) and other people are donating time to help fundraise even more money.

But I have been reading how Simon Cowell wants to record a song for Haiti as well as Jay-Z and U2. It will help raise a load of money but I think that maybe instead of doing something that will be a lot of press coverage for them on how good these people are, maybe they should just donate a few million pounds of their own money as well.

They’re going to record a song, they’re going to pat themselves on the back and the song will be used over various montages of slow motion clips from news coverage of the Earthquake.

How long will it be before Chris Martin is all over this too?

Every now and again Kylie Minogue falls off everyone’s radar and she has to say or do something to get back there.

There was the infamous golden hot pants that showed of her newly “surgically treated” arse, the horrible breast cancer that she soon recovered from and now she is claiming to be bi-curious.

In a recent interview she said “I have been attracted to some women. I am a sexual exhibitionist and part of me is a natural flirt, but although I am attracted to women, I have never done anything with them.”

Wow! A shocker. I will certainly be buying her next single. That really clinched the deal. Seriously, when celebrities say stuff like this they are doing so to be controversial.

I get the irony blogging about this as it does buy into what she is trying to do. Shame on me, but shame on her more!

Hannah Waterman, that tragic bird from EastEnders who died falling down the stairs”, or “that bird that came from the loins of Dennis “Minder” Waterman, has released a fitness DVD (yep, that confused me too) and apparently it is doing very well it’s beating all the other fitness DVDs out at the moment.

I’ll be honest when I saw it in Tescos just before Christmas I was all “What the fuck? That’s not her on the cover!” and apparently it is, she dropped from a size 16 to a size 6. She looks to strange on the cover to believe its her. She looks like something that has been created in the Jim Henson Creature Workshop.

Her DVD sales are doing very well and I guess that’s good because she’s has recently split from her husband and has been in the press alot. Hang on, you don’t think her DVD sales have been boosted by her recent split from her husband do you? Nah, must be a coincidence

The news is buzzing at the moment as one of the BBC’s highest earners has decided to not stay with the corporation.

Jonathan Ross has been with the BBC for years and has become one of their biggest assets. But in recent years he has caused them some trouble with that whole (yuk, hate calling it this) the Russell Brand / Andrew Sachs scandal.

I think it is probably wise for Jonathan Ross to call it a day with the beeb. Not being funny but they are too busy snorting cocaine and shitting themselves about offending people that they waste a talent like Jonathan Ross by dumbing down why he’s so funny.

The BBC’s loss is Channel 4 / ITVs gain. I hope it’s not ITV, they’re like well shit.

There is one person who is connected with the Beatles that has never written a book about her time spent along side the Beatles and that is Yoko Ono, one of the ladies that married a band member. A lot of people dislike her for whatever reason but surely she deserves some respect for not publishing a book and “cashing in” as it were.

Well she has decided that the time has come for her to write about her time with the late John Lennon: “I would love to do it. I just have to find the time. It will be my next book, which will be written in the next five years.” Yoko has been quoted as saying recently. Although what she has been doing to fill up all her time is beyond me.

Having said that, I personally feel that her book will be a very interesting read, after all she has been widely speculated as to the reason why the Fab Four split up. It’s be ruddy interesting for her to finally get her say on stuff

I’m so happy that Amy Winehouse has finally pulled her finger out and started doing some work for her next album. It’s been bloody years and I was worried in case she died before making another. Yay!

She recently said in an interview: “I’ve actually written a few more songs over Christmas. I’ve been at home, been to my mum’s, actually been knuckling down to it really.”

That’s good news isn’t it? Her second album “Back To Black” was a stupidly good album and it would have been a shame if she wasn’t able to follow it up. It’ll be a hard act to follow and I reckon she’ll do alright with it. Here’s just hoping that she’ll be able to get someone as good, if not Mark Ronson back producing it.

In this episode I cover a dead duck and a new idea for a competition about dead celebrities. What a way to start off the new year!

This episode has edited highlights from the live radio show that took place here at RadioRabies.com. Shows are live every Friday night at 9pm GMT (with a repeat broadcast at 10pm). Exciting isn’t it?